The burden of living….

The burden of living..

Table of Contents

I haven’t in my life come across a person who is genuinely happy! 

If you are someone out there feeling like you are genuinely happy, kudos to you. I would like to meet you and ask you to tell me what you mean exactly by claiming to be genuinely happy. I want to be wrong. 

So where did we go wrong? How did we end up with systems where virtually everyone is pissed, trapped, and annoyed? Except for babies, of course. But, it is not always long before they get drunk from the same sour cup we all seemingly drunk from to end up here.

Like what did these people of the past take while designing society? 

Why do I spend 90% of my time worrying about scheduling things for a “balanced life”?” To boot the work always seems more than the time there is to do it. 

Meanwhile, the remaining 10% goes into thinking “this isn’t working, I should just drop it. What’s the point anyway?” Of course because it will always be easier to sit back and do nothing. However, the pressure to achieve just won’t let you sit back… Well, that would be okay if you and I only had to do the stuff we like. But that’s not the case. Sadly.

Legitimate achievement always requires that you do the things you don’t like to do. The things you hate, such as respecting your morning alarm.

As children we used to crave freedom that adulthood illusively offers, from that vantage point. “I’ll grow up and be my own person, I’ll go where I want to, when I want to and do what I want to and bla bla bla,” we used to tell ourselves. 

And now that we are here- at adulthood, tables have turned. No one ever told us that as kids, the only institution whose system you deal with family. And maybe a little bit of school.  And all you have to do is play and fantasize.

But when you grow up, it is like involuntary entrapment in a wild web of a hundred other institutions and systems that are eager to suck life out of you, but adults didn’t tell you! The freedom and untamed happiness you had always fantasized oved is in short supply. 

When it comes it feels so inorganic and only lasts for a moment. Most things constantly suck and people on the internet will give you useless advice like be happy when in reality, you’ll spend 90% of your time worrying about scheduling things for a “balanced life”, which will have just so much work and not enough time. And the other 10% will go into thinking “this isn’t working.” 

Just before you know it, imposter syndrome is around the corner. 

Then comes the times you think you’re over something horrible that just happened or that someone did to you, and you truly believe you’re happy. But, later another unpleasant thing happens, and you realize the joy was only temporal. Alas, you are back to your sore state- wishing for pure happiness, but it isn’t in sight. 

You want to lose faith in mortal joy. But, you are afraid to. “Try again,” says a whisper from within. “But what’s the point, if I am going to come back to the same damn place”?” you ask. But no reply.

I’ve been there before and I can’t claim I am fully out of there. But I’ll tell you one thing, maybe don’t just seek happiness as an end in itself. Seek a bigger purpose. That way, suffering will be much bearable and when happiness falls somewhere within, you will be but grateful.

Even if for the moment…

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